That Moment in Life

When did he reach a point that he couldn't take it anymore?
What made him think things will never turn for the better?
Did he feel things will be alright for his loved ones after?
When did that darkest moment happen?
How did he reach there?
Wasn't there anything or anyone that could have helped him?
What made him think no one, not even God could make things change?
Was it always in him, or is it life that turned him over?
When did he stop thinking of others and only of him?
Was it on the spur of the moment or long planned?
Why didn't anyone see it coming?
When did he stop laughing and start brooding?
Did he really believe this is the end?
When and where are we going to get all the answers?

(Got to know last night that someone close to us, one who had the most awesome sense of humor, someone who used to enjoy life to the brim, tried to get away from everyone and everything two days back. I am in shock)

More.....

Another view of the bridge..

A very brave one - right under the bridge....

Alcatraz from golden gate..

Just can't get over that ocean...

They protest and block roads here too..

and this is what they want...

all set ... in case something happens.....

sharing a light moment meanwhile...

watching from above too...

p.s. will be back with more interesting ones in a few days....

Half a day is all it took

The flight to San Francisco was early in the morning. For a few minutes I thought we were going to land on the water. The landing ground is so close to the bay, we see land just as the plane touches ground. Had just half a day to go around , so the next thing after checking in was to book me in for a city tour.

And half a day was all it took to fall in love....

Anywhere in the city you are never too far from the sea..

some of the streets are really steep, there is one which is so steep, there is no uphill traffic

Old and new ....the victorian houses built in the late 18oo's , the city in the back ground...

the city..

The (in)famous Alcatraz. It is not too far from the wharf commonly known as Fisherman's Wharf. Looking at it we feel the prisoners could easily swim across. It seems the temperature of the sea water is sub zero and the undercurrents are so strong that the swimmers will be pulled out to the open ocean

The Golden Gate Bridge....

you can see a number these out in the bay..

view down from the bridge

The Pacific Ocean.....

each side you look, the ocean takes a different colour, you just do not know where to look

the remnants of a bath hotel built early last century. sea water filled in the baths during high tides

a walk by the beach....

enjoying their evening in the sun in ice cold water. it seems the surfers here need to wear some sort of body suit to keep them so as not to freeze

we took a turn and I stopped breathing....well,almost.....

to be continued.....

My boss dropped a bomb and I am not complaining :-)

9 PM yesterday :

Boss - "Bindu, please come to my room immediately"

Bindu (to herself) - "Now what did I do?"

Boss - "S can't travel. His father is ill. Can you?"

Bindu (almost falling from the chair) - "You mean, this Saturday?"

Boss - "Yes, you know what the plans are"

Bindu (stammering) - "That is just four days, husband, kids, current projects..."

Boss - "Think it over and let me know, but would be good if you can"

10 minutes later...

Hubby - "Just say yes ,don't worry about anything, I'll manage home front"

(now you know why I clung on to him and wouldn't let go till said yes;-) )

So friends, I am off to Disneyland this Saturday ;-)

Round the clock

Our new client is in San Francisco

We are in India and we work nights

Their morning is our midnight

We need to get trained in one of their applications

The trainer is in Australia

A time which would be convenient for the three of us??!!

Happy Women's Day, btw :-)

Mission In Life

The name 'Covey' meant this was not just another training session

The trainer was Irish, been in India for seven years and doesn't want to go back. He started very mildly, talking about how trust is core to everything in our life - personal, official, just about everything. And then, a bomshell, "Tell me friends, what is your mission in life?"

Pin drop silence..

"Have you ever thought what is it that is most important in your life? What is it that you are so passionate about that you would never get tired doing it?"

Uncomfortable shifting of gazes, drumming of pens and pencils on the table....

"Well I'll tell you when you are going to think about it. When your doctor says you have six months to live!"

A few gasps!

"Now I will tell you how to find your mission. Think of what is core to you, what your values are, what is that you want to live by and for and as you ask yourself these questions, you will find some answers and more questions. At the end of it all, you will find the answer that you are looking for"

So my friends, while I am searching for my mission in life, you can wish me a happy birthday ;-)

To Someone Very Special!

"Follow your heart, do what you are passionate about" - says the 3 idiots and almost everyone after watching them.

When was the last time you followed your heart? Have you really been listening to your heart after you did almost ten years back? The path that you chose then was not very easy, I agree. Thorns and stones were aplenty, the climb seemed too steep at times, you were at the brink of that deep gorge many a time. But the magnificent views, the cool streams, the refreshing breeze that caressed your cheeks, the treasures you found on the route have made you realize that this is where you were meant to be and where you always wanted to be.

The eyes that see beauty in the most mundane of things, the heart that throbs at even the softest of strums on the guitar, the feel of your skin on that hot engine ....when did you lose all these? Has making a living been at the cost of life itself?

I can still see the hidden gleam in those eyes, can hear that skip in the beat now and then and can feel that blood pulsing through the veins by a mere touch and I know the dreams are still there, the cobwebs just need to be brushed away.

So, here is to you, the one closest to my heart, on your very special day, a very special wish...

Go ahead...jump on to that rainbow, catch the tail of that star, go where your heart takes you and soar high....

A Very Happy Birthday to you, you Idiot!!

(p.s. - yes, the picture on top is taken by my hubby and no, that hand is not mine, I would love to own that rock, though :-). It is a tourist at the next table at Kovalam.
Here are a few of our favorite ones all taken long back. Time to dust that camera and to restring those guitars and just go...)

his first love

sky in thrissur

golf course - bangalore



sweet home of mine :-)


rainbow bridge - marine drive, kochi

friends at kovalam

at nelliampathy

kochi

Miss You!

My faithful and sometimes cranky companion of six years has finally breathed its last. My PC has finally crashed not to be restored again.

To make matters worse, they have blocked blogspot and wordpress in office. Now that I look back it is quite surprising that we were able to get it for so long. My pal in IT told me when I asked him, "Work Bindu, for a change". Couldn't argue with him considering the time I used to spend on blogs ;-)

So, till I get a replacement for my old faithful, it will be weekends when I can snatch my hubby's laptop when he is busy watching one of his favorite movies. But how I miss the instant high of clicking the refresh button and seeing a few of my favorite blogger's posts coming up. Guess all good things must come to an end. Sigh!!

I miss you all :-)

Hope to be back here soon, daily

What is important to you?

My daughter turns two and half next month. Time to start her Montessori. So started my second round of school hunting in the past one year.

First one was on the first floor of a house straight out of an interior design magazine. Split level floors, curios from all over the world, and the lady straight out of a fashion magazine. She gave me a disdainful look over. Thinking of how I look like even on my best days, I couldn't blame her. She was trained in the US of A, taught in montessories there, and had been working in one of Bangalore's upmarket schools for 4 years when the entrepreneurship bug caught her. She explained everything in her yankee accent and asked whether my daughter could follow English. We strictly speak our mother toungue at home, the logic is kids will anyway learn English at school. I said, "She can understand." Another one of those looks.

The classroom itself was again out of a book. All the accessories brand new, placed in order, and all imported, stressed the madam. There were 4-5 kids sitting around all beween 2.5 and 4 and they were writing in their notebooks!! I could not but compare this to the kindergarten class which my son went to in Kochi. The teacher did not force him to do anything in the first term because he used to get upset when she told him anything. That teacher took such good care of him during the first two months without even any of us knowing that after the first few months he just blossomed into someone very confident and thoughtful.

Next school I visited also gave me almost the same message. Teach kids as much as possible so that they are ready for their all important interview next year.

When we moved to Bangalore, the common comment from everyone was kids will get a good education. After almost a year I am not so sure anymore. There maybe the so called elite schools where this maybe true. But getting an admission there is tougher than a JEE or CAT and even more expensive. I know a school where they interviewed the kid for three hours for admission to second standard!! A colleague of mine who also got transferred along with is also of the same opinion. Kochi schools were so much better. The teachers knew their students so well and the parents were welcome to approach them anytime.

Our experience with our son is also not too different. In the first three months his class teacher changed three times, we do not know about the other subjects. First open house we went to half the teachers didn't even know him. I am sure there are many other schools which are run in a much better way, if someone can let me know how to get admission to one of those, I will be eternally grateful to you.

I may be biased in my thinking, it maybe a hangover from my upbringing, but from what I have seen and heard in the past few years, I still feel convent schools or those run by priests are the best. They may not have the best of facilities like horse riding or swimming or what not, but the values they instill, the quality of teaching that is a given just cannot be compared.

A parent told me that she is sending her son to a school known for the 'attitude' of the kids, but she is ok with it, since her son will turn out to be confident and sure about himself! Which set me thinking, isn't it us who has turned schooling into what it is today? In our quest for giving the best to our kids are we forgetting the basic things in life? Aren't we going for materialistic achievemnets in place of basic courtesies in life? Is knowing how to ride a horse or shooting a perfect ace on the tennis court more important that learning to treat others fairly without prejudice and getting to know that success and failure are just two sides of the same coin?

The One Who Walked Out

She is from an aristocratic Syrian Christian family in Kerala. It was surprising that she was allowed to continue her studies after graduation. Soon after her post graduation was over, she was married off into another so called aristocratic family. The guy was well placed, a chief engineer in merchant navy. The perfect recipe for bliss, right?

10 years later....

She is as thin as a skeleton, with permanent dark circles under her eyes. The once effervescent self has given way to a harried and drawn look. At first she would not tell anyone what was wrong. Then the stories started coming out one by one. If she doesn't take the phone after two rings, she was out gallivanting with someone, if she went out it was to meet someone, if she went home it was to complain about him, if she attended any function even that of immediate family it was to attract attention.

She even put up with physical abuse thinking of her kids. But when he tried stopping her from meeting her brother accusing her of something even beyond her wildest imaginations, she decided she had had enough. She walked out on him with her two kids. Her family by then was in almost dire straits. Without losing heart, leaving her kids with her mother, she went to work in a college in the neighbouring town.

The story did not end there. The guy came back, took the kids and went home. All the while, his family turned a blind eye to what was happening. Their boy could do no wrong. She waited for two months for her kids to come back. Then went and lodged a complaint with the Women's Commission. The father had to bring the kids to the police station. She was allowed to take the kids home for two days. On the third day, when he came, the kids refused to go back with him.

It has been four months now. She has no clue where he is. Kids and her are staying in a small rented accomodation. Her father has paid her kid's school fees. She is struggling to make the ends meet. No complaints to anyone, a stoic look on her face, she decided to take each day as it comes. The fact that he has two luxurious apartments in the city and the obnoxious amount of money he is making does not seem to affect her at all. She just knows she is never going back to him.

Dear A, when I think of how you used to be scared to go from one room to another at night, how someone had to be with you wherever you went, how carefree you used to be, I salute you. Especially so when I hear of other so called emancipated women staying put in their abusive marriages just so that they continue to have a luxurious lifestyle.

I wish with all my heart that I get to see the old you sometime soon. Of all people you don't deserve this.